Cruel and Beautiful World…

Life is bland – the air is stale and there’s something inside me screaming. It’s on a reel going over and over again. Broken on repeat… I can’t see anything; no future, no hope – there’s nothing there… It’s okay trying to be positive but when I’m worsening like I am it’s frightening. I may have a physical identity but I have no idea who or what I am other than their ambiguous loss… and a cripple… this is not okay and it never will be… not with all this pain involved. I’m not sure how much longer I can take this for – it’s my worst nightmare – I’m trapped inside my own body – I just lay here suffering and it’s only getting harder – this is no life to lead. It’s no life at all… It’s hell in a cruel yet beautiful world… How can that be so…?

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