I’ve felt as though I have been going crazy for quite some time now and maybe I am, but my recent attempt at trying to rid myself of the Lyrica I’ve been taking for the last year has proven to be utter HELL, both physically and mentally! Not only that, but could the way I’ve been coping with my on-going health issues be down to the effects this medication has on the brains chemistry and not so much because of the pain…? I’m not saying the pain won’t get me down because it will, and I know for sure coming off the meds wont give me any more physical ability, but is this medication causing me more harm than good…? I believe so and it’s time I go this alone… It’s time to live clean…
My body was completely drained and in dire need of sleep – it had been 3 days since I had stopped the medication completely and I had been awake for 48 hours – after finally getting myself off to sleep I woke up within 2 hours, dripping with sweat – I was barely able to catch my breath due to blurred vision, and the voices, lots of them coming at me from all directions – they were really intense auditory hallucinations and I seriously thought I was losing the plot – it seemed my anxiety had shot straight through the roof and out into the cosmos. And my word those ants, it felt like there were thousands of them all high as fuck on acid, crawling under my skin, literally all over my body and they were angry – really pissed off – someone had deprived them of their Lyrica!!!
It wasn’t long for the sickness and diarrhoea to join in with the nightmare and as soon as I got out of bed to make my way to the toilet the cold hit my drenched, clammy body immediately – I was struggling to just breathe, it was freezing cold and my inability to coordinate the few working muscles I have left proved fruitless – it was an all fours job – I had to get on my hands and knees and crawl, my body was just too heavy to move otherwise. It was a close call but I made it just in time and was able to make my way back using my crutches – I got a towel and placed it over the sheet to absorb some of the near constant flow of sweat, but as I was about to get into bed my nausea got the better of me – I had just enough time to grab the small bin on the floor, luckily within arms reach and spewed up nothing but bile.
I got into bed but I was too afraid to close my eyes – too scared to have any thoughts enter my mind so I put the TV on – I needed a distraction from thinking – the TV had become my comfort blanket – I was exhausted and in more pain than EVER! I just lay there and breathed deeply – all the while contemplating a Lyrica to end this hell – they were just sat on my bed-side table trying to entice me in. I was KO’d – absolutely done in with it all – the manic thoughts alone were more than enough at this point but then my stomach started playing up again and the muscles in my abdomen started to spasm – I tried to tell myself it would soon pass and that I just needed to be strong enough to make it to the next moment, then the one after that, but my stomach wouldn’t subside – I could no longer move for the battering my body was taking and there was no possible way of making it to the toilet – I had a choice to make – either shit the bed or take a Lyrica so I chose the latter…
Lyrica is an anticonvulsant that was designed to treat seizures but it’s supposed to help with neuropathic pain also – this is done by binding itself to the calcium channels on the nerve endings which modifies the release of neurotransmitters in the brain affecting the communication of pain signals – It’s not addictive in the same sense as narcotics but the nervous system adjusts to accommodate the drug – without it, all those miles of nerve endings get sent into an absolute frenzy putting the whole nervous system into disarray.
So in other words – these drugs are bad – very bad, and I would NEVER condone the use of Lyrica for any reason. Ever! It slowly creeps into your being and destroys your ability to even string a sentence together – it’s pure poison and the profound effect this drug has on the psyche is bad enough but everything else that goes with it makes the experience Hell on Earth! For the last 2 years I have been a product of anticonvulsants – I truly believe it’s prevented me from growing as a person and halted my progress in dealing with my on-going mental-health issues – as I said, my physical ability will remain the same and pain will more than likely increase but I can’t live like I have been doing. I’m currently taking 400mg daily, down from 600mg and will talk about tapering off this drug at my appointment with the pain clinic at the back end of this week – one thing for sure is I’ll be doing it as slow as possible!!!
The thing is I don’t think the professionals at some of these ‘pain’ clinics are aware of how bad these withdrawals can be – especially on top of the chronic pain and limitations which are already there. I mentioned to the ‘pain’ doctor at my last appointment that I was planning to come off the Lyrica as I didn’t think it was doing anything, yet he said nothing – ‘could’ve done with a warning you ignorant sod!!!’ It seems to me it’s strength is over-looked because it isn’t a narcotic, but these pills should not be taken lightly…
So that’s been my experience with trying to come off this filth – these are my views and experiences only – I know that Lyrica helps others to live a more active life with less pain but it’s not for me. Absolutely no chance!!!
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