If the average life expectancy for men in the UK is 79 that means there’s 48 years ahead of me being virtually bed-bound. It’s pretty daunting when I think about it like that which is why it’s so important to take life day by day and not think about the future too profoundly – at least I have plenty of time to learn how to manage and deal with my on-going deteriorating health…
There are no excuses though! No excuses for me not to achieve because through all the physical and mental pain I’ve gone through my calling has found me – writing has been in me for as long as I can remember and lifes events have given me no choice but to pursue this vocation. Growing up the half empty glass always told me I’d never be a writer – that I wasn’t born with the talent to get a book published and make a living from the art of words. But, as time goes by I’m realising how important it is for me to write about what I’m going through and put it out there into the world for all to see. I want to inspire and make people realise they are not alone, and whether I’m good enough or not only time will tell – but I’ll never know unless I put my heart and soul into it and there is a little part of me that believes, one day there will be a bind with my name on it in all four corners of the world. Imagine that ey!!!
We all say things we regret, things we wish we hadn’t that has left a scar on someone in some way. Anger goes hand in hand with chronic pain and I’ve said a fair few things I shouldn’t have to the people who love me the most – to those that least deserve it. For years I’ve also said I’m going to write a book but the nearest I’ve got to doing so is a chapter every now and again, later deciding it’s not up to standard and scrapping it never to be seen again. It’s not good enough – being a man of my word is important and you can never take back what you say – I don’t want the last thing I say to someone to have been born out of anger or frustration due to the struggles I have with my health, and I certainly don’t want to be a guy that doesn’t stick to what he said he would do, because a man without his word is nothing…
So watch out for a bind with my name on it – my blood name, C.Kakoulis…