It feels like I’ve been reincarnated into someone else and become a stranger to myself. I died inside when the fiery ice smothered me and now all that’s left is the outer shell of a rotting corpse. I know not who or what I am, what my purpose is in such pain-riddled circumstance or what the point of such an existence is. I resent that to so many I’ve become an inconvenience who is so reliant on other people – 3 times in recent weeks the carer hasn’t turned up – I ring and I message and I chase it up to then be fed excuses – bare-faced liars trying to pass their incompetence on to me. I might be a cripple but that doesn’t make me stupid…!
What is it with discrimination towards the disabled anyway…? Earlier this year at my local hospital they refused to get me a raised toilet seat & wheelchair to take me to the bathroom, then insisted I use the commode which I couldn’t sit on properly – unable to sit far enough back for the rigid nature of my crippled frame. I pleaded and pleaded with them, trying to make them understand – practically begged them to get me what I needed, yet they would rather I shit my pants instead of supplying me with the required aids to use – there are many places people with disabilities get discriminated against but the last place you’d expect it is within the health service…
We already live on the fringes of society – right at the bottom of the political food chain and social norms and having just your bad health to contend with doesn’t seem to be enough. The prejudice us disabled get is astonishing and when you throw an invisible illness into the mix the battle just got big. You’re constantly at war with the system that controls us; whether it’s the health service, benefits system or place to live with the required adaptations – it’s fight after fight and it gets draining – it’s like they think you want a life of discrimination and of no quality – that you want to lose control of where you’re going to be living and how much money you have – it’s all on their terms – we’re controlled by an government that’s impossible to trust leaving more vulnerability…
People see you differently – like you’ve become a different species for being either mentally or physically impaired – or Neanderthals who don’t belong in the 21st century and with all this physical pain I’m not so sure that’s a world I want to be in…
aChronicPainLife... 
It is absolutely awful sometimes. Those who have no idea how to put themselves in the shoes of others seem to be the ones in power in man places right now. But the pendulum always swings. And there are always people who understand and can support in the mean time to make it worth the fights.
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Too many inflated ego’s flying about in power for their to be much empathy. But yes, those who do show support and try their best to understand do make it worth the fight – most of the time…
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Reblogged this on Seachy Waffles On, Chronic Pain is a game changer and commented:
The last two paragraphs for me really hit home, the how draining it can be, how we don’t want a fight over every little detail of our lives and how poor life can be. I am lucky I have a supportive family and famiends who are fighting with me to make the world a better place one piece at a time.
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If you ever need someone to just listen, please email me. x
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Thank you – much appreciated…x
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Reblogged this on Me: Finding the Missing Pieces and commented:
this is true for all invisible illnesses, including mental health ones.
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Well put and totally agree with you, sometimes just when you think your getting over the wall more layers of bricks appear on it , take care be strong .
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