I’ve slowly started coming off all medication apart from the only one which takes a slight edge off the pain from time to time which is the 15mg of Oxycodone. I’ve been on Pre – Gablin (600mg) for over a year now and Gabapentin before that, ibuprofen 3 times a day with 1 omeprazole first thing to help with the stomach pains caused by the ibuprofen, 2 Paracetamol every four hours and Mirtazapine once a night for the depression – I think it’s safe to say they are of no benefit to me whatsoever – the only reason I’ve been taking them for so long is to keep the doctors from thinking I’m not making an effort to treat my pain – all that matters to me now though is, so long as I know I’m doing all I can to help myself that’s all that matters.
I’ve been struggling for inspiration lately – there hasn’t been much to write about as all that’s happening is my health is getting worse. I’m booked in for a sympathetic nerve block at the end of the month but the pain specialist said it usually only benefits at the early stages of CRPS and I’m way beyond that, but I need to try. If it works it only lasts 4-6 weeks but it’s better than nothing.
I wonder does it ever get easier? I life of isolation cut off from the outside world! The mornings are the worst – I wake up and just lay there catatonic, everything silent except the sound of my beating heart. It’s warm under the covers and that’s where I want to stay but my body has other ideas – it seems the anxiety that hits every single morning plays havoc on stomach. I have no choice but to get up – probably a good thing really! The cold is a killer as well – my legs are permanently freezing and the cold air on them when i get out of bed isn’t a nice feeling at all – even when it’s a hot summers day they never feel warm and I’m absolutely dreading this winter! The last one was bad enough and I’ve gotten so much worse since then.
But, on a positive note, I stopped smoking the other day – I was up to 40 a day because of the boredom and I figure if there is any possible chance of me getting better I need to start being a lot healthier – so the first step is packing in the cigs, then I’m going to cut out the coffee and eventually get to a point where I’m putting pure goodness inside my body. It’s probably a good idea for me to start eating as well – I’m depriving my body of much needed goodness and it needs to change. But, these are just words – it’s all well and good saying all of this but I need to do it…