Actions Speak louder…

I’ve slowly started coming off all medication apart from the only one which takes a slight edge off the pain from time to time which is the 15mg of Oxycodone. I’ve been on Pre – Gablin (600mg) for over a year now and Gabapentin before that, ibuprofen 3 times a day with 1 omeprazole first thing to help with the stomach pains caused by the ibuprofen, 2 Paracetamol every four hours and Mirtazapine once a night for the depression – I think it’s safe to say they are of no benefit to me whatsoever  – the only reason I’ve been taking them for so long is to keep the doctors from thinking I’m not making an effort to treat my pain – all that matters to me now though is, so long as I know I’m doing all I can to help myself that’s all that matters.

I’ve been struggling for inspiration lately – there hasn’t been much to write about as all that’s happening is my health is getting worse. I’m booked in for a sympathetic nerve block at the end of the month but the pain specialist said it usually only benefits at the early stages of CRPS and I’m way beyond that, but I need to try. If it works it only lasts 4-6 weeks but it’s better than nothing.

I wonder does it ever get easier? I life of isolation cut off from the outside world! The mornings are the worst – I wake up and just lay there catatonic, everything silent except the sound of my beating heart. It’s warm under the covers and that’s where I want to stay but my body has other ideas – it seems the anxiety that hits every single morning plays havoc on stomach. I have no choice but to get up – probably a good thing really! The cold is a killer as well – my legs are permanently freezing and the cold air on them when i get out of bed isn’t a nice feeling at all – even when it’s a hot summers day they never feel warm and I’m absolutely dreading this winter! The last one was bad enough and I’ve gotten so much worse since then.

But, on a positive note, I stopped smoking the other day – I was up to 40 a day because of the boredom and I figure if there is any possible chance of me getting better I need to start being a lot healthier – so the first step is packing in the cigs, then I’m going to cut out the coffee and eventually get to a point where I’m putting pure goodness inside my body. It’s probably a good idea for me to start eating as well – I’m depriving my body of much needed goodness and it needs to change. But, these are just words – it’s all well and good saying all of this but I need to do it…

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4 comments

  1. Wow, you are brave to ditch the meds. I know it’s something I should really do because like you I get little relief from the meds but I guess I’m scared to try. I am also now starting to think about winter and this cold spell has made getting into bed with cold sheets very painful, I keep saying I will get an electric blanket but haven’t so far. Good luck with the nerve block.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. Yeah it is pretty daunting – it might be that they are doing something and I have to start on them again but we’ll see. I’ll keep you posted how I get on when I’m finally off them altogether – not the oxy tho as they actually take the edge off a bit sometimes… An electric blanket would be good – I keep a big thick woollen blanket wrapped around my legs all day which helps but they’re still freezing when my upper body can be hot and sweaty – never a happy medium, grrr.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yep I sit under a blanket all day and then I get hot on my top half and feel very foggy. I never used to feel the cold, in fact I would be in shorts through the whole year but now it’s painful when it’s cold. I lower my dihydrocodeine during the spring/summer and then increase it again in winter.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. GOING OFF YOUR MEDS IS GOING TO BE HARD. HAVING SAID THAT; I CAN’T MAKE HEADS OR TAILS OF WHAT YOU ARE BEING PRESCRIBED??? THEY MAKE NO SENSE.IBUPROFEN? USELESS.NERVE BLOCKER. SHORT TERM AND PAINFUL WHEN IT WEARS OFF.YOU NEED A PHSYCHIATRIST FOR YOUR ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION, WHO WILL PRESCRIBE PROPER MEDS. YOU ALSO NEED A PAIN SPECIALIST,TO MONITOR PROPER PAIN MEDS. IBUPROFEN IS FOR A HEADACHES.A BAND -AID FOR A GUNSHOT. YOUR DOCTOR SOUNDS LIKE MINE. AN IDIOT!!!.BOTH YOU AND I ARE VICTIMS OF DOCTORS WHO ARE CLUELESS. OXY AND IBUPROFEN?? HEADACHE OR BRAIN TUMOR? WHAT ARE THEY TREATING??? WHY IS IT UP TO US, TO HELP OURSELVES? TOO MANY QUESTIONS AND NO ANSWERS.

    Liked by 1 person

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