A Trip to Pain-Management and an Increase in Pain, the Irony!!!

It’s been a few days since pain management and I’m still paying for the short trip up there and everything else that goes with a hospital visit. We were probably waiting for about 45 minutes before we saw someone – standing the whole time was a struggle and the left leg isn’t happy but there was no way I could get down on the chairs. They could probably do with some perching stools for the crippled that can’t bend down. Everything seems to be so low these days. So frustrating!!! Anyway, my lower body, particularly my butt cheeks, are on absolute fire, fire, fire…

They’re sending me to a clinic a couple of hours drive away. They have more experience in dealing with people who suffer with CRPS so hopefully something good will come of it. Can’t help thinking that if my body is feeling this bad after my last appointment, how is it going to take to a much longer journey but, fuck it, we’ll just have to wait and see. The irony though. Of going to pain-management, only to be left with a huge increase in pain for days and days afterwards. But, I’m just grateful the ball is rolling with this new pain-management team and I have something to focus on. I’m curious as to what they will do that others haven’t. I have a little hope…

So this ‘pledge’ I mentioned in a previous post – Its made me more focused for sure but when you’re exhausted from just taking a bath, and your but cheeks are on fire, legs ice cold, morale is really hard to find and the question of, ‘What’s in store for the future?’ starts to creep in, then the anxiety tries to rip you in, your stomach starts to churn and your heart pounds harder. It’s unstoppable when it comes and I’ll never get used to the sinking feeling it gives but I need to keep fighting this… I can’t give up hope!!! I’ve done that before and it’s no good for me or anyone around me…

23 comments

  1. I’m sorry that it went so bad for you, I hope the other clinic is a lot better in their understanding!! Keep the hope alive, it won’t always be like this.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re welcome, just keep on going. 🙂 I’ve started physical therapy again and it has made the pain worse so far, but they say if I keep at it I should be able to manage it better in time.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Having to stand for 45 minutes is so not cool, they really should be better equipped for serving serving the disabled, it is a hospital after all. Sorry you had to endure that and for the painful residual aftereffects you’re having.x :/
    I hope the 2 hour drive to the other clinic isn’t too rough on you. Is it coming up soon, or will you have a bit more time to recuperate from this last one? I also hope they come up with some solutions for helping to ease your pain a bit and make things more bearable for you. I like seeing you say “I have a little hope…” Hold onto that, Chris.
    And take care when those thoughts about the future start creeping in, bringing that dreadful sinking feeling. Like you say “I need to keep fighting this…I can’t give up hope!” I’m pulling for you, and sending love, light and strength…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. No it really isn’t. I was so frustrated with it all but there’s not a lot I can do. Hopefully this place I’m going to will help with something but, we’ll see… Thanks a lot Jewels, it’s nice that you’re pulling for me…

      Liked by 2 people

  3. you must keep nurturing that little hope – here’s hoping that little spark will soon become a raging fire. May the help the clinic may offer far outweigh the stress of the journey there!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You are so strong and brave and put your words down with so much heartfelt sincerity…keep on with that strength and all the very best with all the new stuff you are about to deal with.

    Liked by 1 person

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