Endless Nights…

And on these dark nights, when everything is black and you can’t fall asleep, time literally lasts forever!!!

With little distraction the sleepless nights are the worst part of the day for me – It’s when the thoughts run wild and time doesn’t move, your body is aching for rest but your mind is in the fast lane, while everything is quiet yet loud at the same time!

I hear the odd sound of a car passing by in the distance or the slam of a car door but other than that just silence… Then you’ve got the battle of having all the noise inside your head while you lay there, trying for the life of you to sleep and trying so much to resist as you count sheep or exercise your breath, only succumbing to the thoughts every single time – constantly thinking of this, that and the friggin’ other.

Nearly everything I do is a distraction for me and stops me dealing with my chronic pain. I watch t.v (takes my mind off it) surf the web (do people even say that anymore) play FIFA, read books, make endless amounts of coffee and get lost in a good film. Even with all this distraction the fight against my health is still a massive struggle, so when it’s the middle of the night and all this distraction has gone, and all that’s left are the thoughts mulling round and round in my head, it all becomes very intense and the fear of the unknown increases ten fold. Then I wake up and the anxiety hits straight away turning my stomach. I have to get up…

This journey is crazy and I have more soul-searching to do than I could have ever possibly imagined. But, I’ll get there…

11 comments

  1. Ugh, I hate it when my brain won’t shut off at night, it’s beyond frustrating. Lately I’ve been listening to a meditation/visualization CD as I go to sleep and all that relaxation and deep breathing, along with dousing myself in lavender oil konks me out pretty quickly. But if I wake up during the night and my brain turns back on, all bets are off. Hope tonight is better for you, Chris.x

    Liked by 2 people

      1. “Can music save your mortal soul?” Don McLean

        I can’t sleep without music, mostly because I have a constant ringing in my ears. The music gives me something else to focus on, especially when my thoughts are busy trying to keep me awake. But the background noise doesn’t have to be music, you can also use the sounds of rain or something like that.

        Liked by 3 people

      2. A radio is a great idea. Or better yet… a sound machine, I have one on my nightstand that plays nature sounds like rain, waves, waterfalls, and even crickets. It also has a white noise option that sounds like a fan and a function for listening to the radio too. Here’s hoping some sweet dreams and restful sleep comes to you soon…x

        Liked by 2 people

  2. I have found a few solutions to the insomnia, whirling mind problem that migraneurs suffer. Get a box fan. The ambient noise provides a cover for all the other bits. Use your iphone/whatever to download podcasts like Stuff you Missed in History Class, especially the first ones. The voices are soothing. I let them play while I fall asleep. (If you don’t have unlimited data, set the sleep timer on Stitcher or whatever podcast service you use.) No ambient noise, no mind spinnies. Oh, and some benedryl to help me fall asleep, or some sleeping pills if your doctor will swing that way.

    Liked by 3 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s