War Inside My Head…

I’ve got to get away from this war inside my head,
I’ve got to get away from these eyes built behind enemy lines,
I’ve got to get away from this war inside my head,
Get away, get away.

Free from the voices going against my instinct,
Free from the voices brought on by pain,
To trust the fight between uncertainty and sincerity,
Abundance I’ll gain.

I’ve got to get away from this war inside my head,
I’ve got to get away from this mortal coil and the rage,
I’ve got to get away from this war inside my head,
Get away, get away.

Free from the thoughts that have become habit,
Free from the thoughts that leave me static,
To trust the shimmering light breaking free from my weary mind,
Than valour I’ll find.

It’s a battle I’ll fight all the way,
A battle I’ll fight with all the cells in my body,
All of the atoms, pores, synapses, limbs, veins, thoughts, feelings, pain, humour, will, love and faith.

I’ll dig myself out of the trenches,
I’ll remove all the scars that remain,
I’ll kill, kill, kill all the negativity,
All of the pessimism, hate, anger, jealousy, rage, fear, nerves and bitterness.

I’m going to get away from this war inside my head,
I’m going to get away from the haze that sees no future,
And I’ll relish every fucking second of my being.

14 comments

      1. Negativity ś a bitch and can creep into ones thoughts so easily and. Try to destroy them, deep breaths and happy thoughts is the way forward, not easy but one keeps trying

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yeah it really is a bitch – sometimes I think I’m wallowing too much which I probably am but the depression just gets so powerful at times, and, with being house-bound there’s so much time to think it just seems to spiral out of control… But I will beat this, maybe not physically but mentally, I will, we will… Thank you…

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Anytime my freind one reason Iwrite is to. Get the depression and anxiety out in the open, one to. Make people aware , but also if it’s out in the open its not the dark demon that likes to play in my mind ….

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Ah, man! Git Outa my head! This is the battle, no, the war, raging inside my noggin at the moment. You’re thinkin’ my thoughts! Dark Demons everywhere! Sheesh! Can’t a girl have a little privacy?:D

    Liked by 1 person

  2. i admire you, reading this. you have so much spirit and strength. usually i just keep on keepin’ on. i’m mentally ill, as well as physically ill, so mostly it’s a struggle to survive. i often wonder if there is a point to fighting it. if the pain is forever, what do we gain? i guess it might make us feel stronger or/and more like we have control over things. i’m not good at confrontation in any situation, not even within my mind. i disassociate and then am not prepared to deal with things i have to deal with, like.. what we were saying about getting up in the morning.

    what inspires you to fight it? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for that… The problem though, when I right like this, is the thoughts are usually fleeting and it doesn’t take long for the over-powering negativity to take over, sometimes I feel like a fraud when I write like this but I guess the thing inside me that wants to inspire comes out from time to time … I’ve gained a deep depression over the last 3 years so can relate to having psychological problems, suicide seemed like a certainty not so long ago, but not so much anymore, so I’ve made a little progress there – plus mental health problems runs my the family… I too often wonder if there is a point in fighting it – especially when I think of the pain being forever which I’m pretty certain it will be… My mood fluctuates so much – one minute feel I can make a difference somehow with my writing, the next I’m led into darkness and think of nothing but physical and mental pain for the rest of my life – I’ve become extremely fickle… I’m afraid of being unknown – of being a lonely old man from pushing everyone away from me – it seriously scares the hell out of me… I’ve always wanted to help people, I was going to be the navy (but couldn’t because of my physical health) then I was going to become a Mental Health Nurse (the irony) then my body decided it had other plans… Anyway, I’ve waffled on here and not even sure it makes sense… I guess what inspires me it the fact I want to make a difference to other people’s lives somehow…

      Like

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